Before we get started, I feel obliged to lay out the cast and crew of this little dramedy: (And because my players threatened to beat me with a dice tower if I didn't)
Brandon Thompson (me): DM (stands for dunce magnet)
Christian: Quagrim the unpredictable gnomish gunslinger, and his friend Bob, and sometimes the changeling shaman Halona
Dave: Tanic the bloodthristy human rogue, and sometimes Velic the bloodthirsty human cleric
Beth: Calith the aggressive half-elf cleric/ranger (mostly referred to as a clanger),
and Minerva the homicidal bloodrager. (yes, I know its redundant)
Alex: Zornesk the stalwart kobold paladin (yes, it weirds me out too)
Clint: Zubat the pants-phobic samsaran summoner, and his friend, the snake shaped Mr. Potato Head eidolon Scrambles (later known as Red Velvet)
Dan: Vex the odd oread inqusitor, and sometimes random enemies
{DM's Note: Due to the preferences of one player this pathfinder adventure takes place in Faerun. And because I didn't know any better at the time.}
As our story begins, our intrepid adventurers have all come to the city of Waterdeep for various reasons. And no it was not for a wine tasting tour, or a pub crawl. I refused to have them meet in a tavern. Instead I had each sit down for a quick one on one.
No. That is not a quickie.
The Half Elf Calith has been maneuvered to speak to the great wizard Khelban by the even greater wizard Elminster in her attempt to understand why the vigilante group known as the Harpers would poison her mother. She's also dealing with the standard issues young adults deal with like whether she wishes to devote her life to healing or murder. Its a good guess that recent events have not helped her embrace a balanced perspective. As the drama unfolds she is tailing a group of Harpers to the main road leading to Blackstaff Tower.
The Silver Kobold Paladin Zornesk was sent by the silver dragon that raised him and his siblings, to understand the nature of a dark vision it had received. His one great weakness is apparently apples. As the drama unfolds he is haggling for a large, delicious looking apple with a vendor. Perhaps the dragon should have spent more than half a thought on its selection of investigator . . .
The Samsaran Summoner Zubat (don't ask) is also attempting to gain an audience with Khelban in the hopes of understanding why he can't let his previous lives go. He also changes the configuration of his flying snake eidolon (anyone who plays CAH know where his dirty mind was going) more often than a channel surfer looking for a Deadpool commercial. I mean really they should just go to Youtube, right? As we begin he is entranced in the blow by blow haggling for the apple.
The Oread Inquisitor Vex is keeping an eye on suspected demon cultists as they make their way to the main thoroughfare in her long standing goal of ridding the world of demons and their pathetic followers. Apparently having one's village slain by demons as a child is a perfect excuse for rampant racism . . .
The Gnome Gunslinger Quagrim is searching for the remaining three pieces of an artifact, and hoping to prevail upon Khelban for their locales. As we begin he's stomping dejectedly down said thoroughfare after failing to get past the bottom floor receptionist of Blackstaff Tower. Perhaps if his height had been greater than her desk she'd have seen the desperation on his face. I told him to get platform shoes . . .
And lastly and leastly (at least as far as backstory goes) is Tanic the Human Alchemist (no wait, I want to play a Rogue after the first session) Caventhal. Despite rigorous torture sessions and masterfully played bouts of psychological warfare the only backstory I was able to pry out of Dave was that HE LIKES ADVENTURES! I ended up sticking him in a tavern located on that very thoroughfare because he likes adventures. Have I mentioned that he likes adventures? And money. And killing. But killing more than money. There are probably wanted posters out there for him somewhere. . .
And adventures . . .
As we begin, the gnome was suddenly set upon by the trio of Harpers tailed by Calith and the trio of cultists tailed by Vex in some sort of impromptu pincer move. He managed to get a shot off (this campaign uses advanced firearms, because I wanted the gunslinger class to be more than a cardboard cutout) before the closer group could envelop him, alerting the more perceptive members of the soon to be group.
Vex single-handedly shut down the cultists by peacebonding a weapon and using a scroll of color spray.
Calith, uncertain of who the bad guys were chose to watch.
Zubat began chucking snowballs into the fray like an eight your old at the year's first snowfall. Although based on their staggering effect I'm fairly certain they were the slushballs the school bully throws.
Zornesk . . . continued to haggle for the apple.
On the opposite spectrum Tanic heard the gunshot from inside of a noisy tavern and chose to investigate.
As Tanic stepped onto the street he was confronted by a Harper.
"What's going on?" he asked
"Sir for your own safety I suggest you stay inside," the Harper replied. Which apparently translates to 'please stab me' if your bat shit insane, because that's what Tanic chose to do.
Before the fight could become lethal for anyone the city watch put a stop to it by arresting everyone involved, including the kobold who'd finally figured out their was a ruckus.
Stay tuned for more adventures of 'Delicious Cupcakes'!
Also: This story makes an excellent drinking game if you take a shot every time you read 'that's when the gnome got it into his head that . . .'.